The question of modesty can be sensitive. Modesty basically means humility, but it commonly refers to how people dress. When women’s modesty is discussed frequently, they start to feel like everyone is looking at them to evaluate whether they are being modest. This is wrong. While some forms of dress are clearly immodest, most decisions are subjective and therefore men and women shouldn’t be looking at others to evaluate their modesty. The Bible does not give a dress code for modesty.

1. The Bible’s Teaching on Modesty

The Bible has a lot to say about the need to be clothed, rather than naked. Adam and Eve were clothed by God immediately after the fall, which shows that clothing is important because of sin and shame. When Ham looked at his father, Noah, naked, it brought about a curse. Notice that nakedness (the state of being unclothed) is closely tied to sin and wickedness in both the initial fall and the fall of Noah’s son right after the flood. The phrase to “uncover nakedness” is used as a euphemism for sexual immorality throughout the book of Leviticus. The prophet Isaiah says that Babylon will be judged by God uncovering their nakedness (Is 47:2-3; cf. Nah 3:5; Jer 13:22, 26). Modesty, or humility in clothing, is discussed in 1 Tim 2:9-10 and 1 Cor 12:23. In Revelation 3:18 Jesus counsels the church in Laodicea, “Buy from me… white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen…” The whore of Babylon in Revelation 17 is immodest.

Both men and women are required to be modest, humble in heart, and therefore not to draw attention to their bodies or any part of themselves for their own sake to glorify themselves above God. This is pride. Pride tries to use others for our own pleasure, to satisfy our own appetites, and to puff up and reinforce our self-centered delusions. The Bible teaches that we should use our minds, hearts, and bodies to draw attention to Christ and to love others in His name. We should obey Christ with our minds, hearts and bodies to put His loveliness and goodness on display, such that when others see us, they glorify God. But when a smart person puts his intelligence on display for its own sake, that is pride. When a “people person” makes himself the center of attention for his own sake, that is pride. When a beautiful person puts his beauty on display for its own sake, that is pride. Pride, immodesty, is a delusion about who we are. It is a lie we tell ourselves. The truth is that we are sinners, who have no room for pride, and who need a Savior. The Bible says that whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God (1 Cor 10:31).

2. Practical Application

For at least a generation, Christian women have often been urged to be modest to “keep their brothers from stumbling.” While it is true that we (both men and women) should love each other in how we dress, “keeping others from stumbling” should not be a central motive. It is also wrong to say, “Dress this way to keep other people from sinning.” We cannot keep others from sinning if they want to sin. But we can minimize the temptations of others by honoring Christ, and yet our primary motive should be love for God and His glory.

It is our job to assess our own hearts and motives and to love others with our actions and choices, instead of trying to predict every possible thing we can do that might unintentionally or accidentally cause someone else to sin. When others sin or are tempted by us, even when we are thinking modestly, that can lead to us feeling like we can never do enough, and we are the ones at fault, when we aren’t.

How do men and women often react to immodesty or pride in one another? When a woman sees an immodest man, who draws attention to his muscles, to his body, and to his sexual prowess, is she attracted to him as a potential husband? Probably not. She likely sees a man who is full of himself, and is repelled by him as an arrogant man, who is probably a womanizer. Now such men do attract temporary adulterous flings, but those people are attracted to each other to avoid real intimacy; so, they sin as a substitute. Also, men focused on their bodies are probably more impressed with each other than women are impressed with them.

Similarly, when a man sees an immodest woman, a woman who draws attention to her skin, to her form and physical appearance, is he attracted to her as a potential wife? That is not likely. Instead, he sees a woman who is disloyal, who wants the attention of men in general, and does not want one man for her husband. Without a doubt, she will turn the heads of many men (and women), but a man does not see her as wife material because she is proud and not someone who will love him loyally. Such a person can attract temporary sinful affairs, but that is not real intimacy or true love. It actually avoids real, deep, and lasting love. And as is the case with men, women who are excessively focused on their own beauty may impress more women than men who are looking for a wife.

3. Looking and Dressing Attractively

Being modest does not mean that we are not allowed to look and dress attractively. In fact, the Bible teaches that being attractive is a good thing in itself because it comes from God. Genesis 39:6 speaks of Joseph being “handsome in form and appearance” and Rachel in Genesis 29:17 as “beautiful in form and appearance.” These are positive statements. The book of Song of Solomon celebrates the appearance of both the husband and the wife and how they mutually attract each other. While the Bible says that we should focus on character as that which makes us lovely to God and to those who love Him, it does not denigrate natural and physical beauty. Rather, it celebrates it.

Men are probably most attractive to godly women when they are strong in a balanced way, but they use their strengths to protect and do good to others. Attractive men are strong and kind. That is, men are most attractive, when they are strong in mind and heart and body, doing what God has called them to do for others, but not drawing attention to their strengths to say, “look at my muscles, or look at my intelligence, etc.” Instead, they use their strengths to build, love, and protect, as though they don’t even notice their own “muscles.”

Similarly, women are probably most attractive to godly men when they use their natural beauty to bless others, to build into life, and to make life a little more lovely and not to say, “everyone look at my beauty; everyone must find me lovely.” Rather, when women use their minds, hearts, and bodies to love the people God has put into their lives, they are probably most beautiful to men. That means, of course, that they can and should dress in ways that underline the natural beauty that God has already given to them. A woman can think, “I would like to wear this because I like it; it expresses who I am and how I feel.” There is nothing wrong and everything right with that. Jesus speaks of the church as His bride adorned with great beauty (Rev 21).

Attractiveness in appearance ought to be motivated by a desire to honor and glorify God and to be a blessing to others, rather than from a desire to make others attracted to us for our own glory and pride. It’s more about gently underlining what God has given to bless others, rather than drawing attention to oneself in a proud and self-centered way.

4. The Gospel of Jesus Christ

Men and women, let us put on humility, or modesty, in mind, heart, and body, out of love to God and to honor and love each other, and because God is good and great. Maybe you have been immodest in your heart, coveting the praise of others, desiring others to be attracted to you for your own sake. Covetousness and lust are sins and are so repulsive to God that they mean you and I deserve to go to hell.

But the gospel says that Jesus bled and died for your immodesty and mine. He will forgive you freely by His death on the cross. He does not begrudge showing you mercy. And not only that, but He will clothe your shame with His own robes of perfect righteousness. You can go to Him “naked” with all your sins, and He will never shame you or turn you away. Rather, He will accept you and freely clothe you with His own safe garments of salvation. But you must look to Him in faith, and go to Him for repentance. Because of His great love for you, and because you are convinced of His goodness, you have to hate and forsake the immodesty in your heart, and put on humility, and love. There is no list of appropriate dress in the Bible, but the way you dress will reflect your heart. Will you go to Christ? Jesus is good and He is wise. You can trust Him and then go and sin no more.